✍️ Dr. Keshavulu Bhashavatthini, M.D. (Neuro-Psychiatry)
🔴 Love – The Purest Emotion or a Path to Violence?
Love is considered one of the most sacred and powerful human emotions. Yet, in recent times, love is increasingly manifesting as violence and even homicide. “Love murders” are becoming alarmingly common, especially among the youth. Many young people are interpreting love not as a mutual emotional bond but as a matter of ego and possession. These incidents have turned into a grave socio-psychological crisis in our society and must be explored beyond the surface – from a deep psychological perspective.
🧠 1. Mental Illness and Love-Triggered Violence
Losing someone you love can trigger major psychological disturbances like:
Major Depression
Borderline Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Such conditions may lead individuals to extremes — either self-destruction or harming others.
📌 Example thought pattern:
“If I can’t live without you, then you don’t deserve to live either.”
This is a clear indicator of possessive and pathological love.
⚠️ 2. Ego as a Substitute for Love
In many Indian cultural contexts, rejection of love is perceived as a blow to masculinity. This leads to what is known as ego injury, which fuels violence.
Common Psychological Patterns:
Inability to tolerate rejection
Feeling of insulted self-worth
Belief: “She is my possession; how dare she refuse me?”
🔄 3. Relationship Dependency & Rejection Sensitivity
People with emotional co-dependency rely heavily on their partner for emotional stability. For them, rejection equates to deep emotional trauma. This may spiral into:
Homicide
Suicide
Or tragically, both
🔍 4. Attachment Disorders Due to Loveless Childhoods
Children who grow up without adequate love or affection may develop insecure attachment patterns. As adults, they may become obsessive, clingy, or possessive in relationships.
This leads to:
Intense fear of abandonment
Unhealthy obsession with their partner
An attitude of ownership over the other person
🎭 5. Influence of Media & Movies
Movies and television shows often romanticize revenge or suicide after failed love. They portray tragic love as heroic or glamorous.
For example:
“If you leave me, my life is ruined” themes
Emotional manipulation shown as love.
This deeply affects impressionable youth, encouraging them to mimic these behaviors in real life.
🔥 6. Frustration-Aggression Theory
When love fails, the resulting frustration without a proper emotional outlet leads to aggression.
This aggression may then turn into:
Verbal abuse
Physical violence
Murder
💔 7. Social Media Pressure and Public Image
Public sharing of romantic photos and videos often turns into social humiliation after breakups.
When such relationships fail:
The person fears public embarrassment
They may feel “murder is better than shame”
This distorted thinking can push them to commit violent acts
🧪 8. Lack of Mental Health Awareness
In our society, mental health conditions are often mocked with terms like:
“Psycho”
“Crazy”
“Drama”
Due to this stigma, people avoid seeking psychological help. As a result, a person facing rejection suffers silently until they explode emotionally or violently.
📉 Statistics: Love Murders in India:
🛑 Psychological Trauma to Families
Love murders don’t just claim lives — they destroy two families emotionally. The psychological impact on:
Parents
Siblings
Children
Society’s moral compass
is profound and lasting.
✅ Psychological Solutions and Preventive Measures
- Emotional Literacy from School Level
Teach children how to manage emotions like love, anger, rejection, jealousy.
- Promote Relationship Counseling
Couples, especially youth, must be encouraged to seek help before things escalate.
- Responsible Use of Social Media
Awareness programs on digital boundaries and privacy.
- Open Dialogue on Mental Health
Normalize discussions around emotional struggles at home and in schools.
- 24×7 Suicide Prevention Helplines
Establish and promote easy access to mental health support.
- Change Societal Perspective on Breakups
Encourage treating breakups with dignity and maturity.
💬 Conclusion:
Love is not a relationship of compulsion or ownership.
Rejection is not a defeat.
No one can earn love through violence.
Behind every love murder, the real enemy is not the person rejected — it is:
Unchecked ego
Emotional immaturity
Underlying psychological instability
Every student, parent, and teacher must try to understand the psychological roots of such crimes. One ounce of mental awareness can prevent a bloodbath.
📞 Helplines for Support
iCall: 9152987821
AASRA: +91-9820466726
For psychiatric support, consult a local mental health professional.
